At bretaye

'Tsara iafarana' by Rija Ramanantoanina

Rija & Lily - Tsara iafaràna (Bessa)
envoyé par Andraina. - Anniversaire, mariage, premiers pas en vidéo.
Miriorio foana ny angidina
Tsy mahagaga tsy akory f’izay no fombany
Misavoamboana dia midina
Ka mianjera any an-kady rehetra any

Vola no maha-be rehareha
Ka mazàna jamba ny maso voatakony
Nefa ny mibirioka fandeha
Zohin-tsiny lava ka tsy mba madio

Kendreo izay ataonao
Saino lanjalanjao
Mandalo ihany izao rehetra izao
Fidio ny mba ho soa
Nefa tandremo koa
Sao diso aoriana ka voa

Harena sy voninahitra
Rendrarendra tsy hita ifandafarana
Fa mbola hafa maharitra
Ny fitiavana tsara hiafarana

' Nada sou sou' by Rimi Natsukawa ( 涙そうそう-夏川りみ)

I whisper “thank you”, as I leaf through this old photograph album,
to one who always cheered me on, within my heart
And should the memories of that smile I think of,
come rain or shine, fade away into the distance
They return in the days I search for a glimpse of your face, a stream of tears

Almost a habit now, I wish upon the very first star
Looking within the evening skies for you with all my heart
The memories of that smile I think of, in sorrow or joy
And if you can see me, from where you are
I’ll live on, believing that someday we’ll meet again

And should the memories of that smile I think of,
come rain or shine, fade away into the distance.
In loneliness and yearning - my feelings for you, a stream of tears
If only we could meet, if only we could meet - my feelings for you, a stream
of tears.

古いアルバムめくり
ありがとうってつぶやいた
いつもいつも胸の中
励ましてくれる人よ
晴れ渡る日も雨の日も
浮かぶあの笑顔
想い出遠くあせても
おもかげ探して
よみがえる日は涙(なだ)そうそう

一番星に祈る
それが私のくせになり
夕暮れに見上げる空
心いっぱいあなた探す
悲しみにも喜びにも
思うあの笑顔
あなたの場所から私が
見えたらきっといつか
会えると信じ生きてゆく

晴れ渡る日も雨の日も
浮かぶあの笑顔
想い出遠くあせても
さみしくて恋しくて
君への想い涙そうそう
会いたくて会いたくて
君への想い涙そうそう

A prayer for my granny

Today a short wake is held in south Paris to remember and send off my
Gran. I will be burning candles and flipping through photo albums.
It is scary to dissapear in the memory of others...it makes me aware
of how dear memory is.

Birthday menu

-Coquilles Saint-Jacques salad (mash, nut, tomato, scallops)
-cheese polenta, brocoli and salmon filet
-raspberry tart, chocolate moelleux, vanilla ice cream
A bottle of white Swiss wine (Chasselas)

Thanks for A. and S. for eating my cooking today.And for the gardening kit !!!

The moon shows up close to keep me company

I conclude my 32nd year in this life with a sad note. The full wolf moon will not brighten my day, and my thoughts are still with the mourning family. My gaze to the moon may meet yours, to comfort and look over you.

My superstitious self would like to think the elements are expressing their loss as well: tides swelling, wind blowing as the earth prepares to take in its bosom the burnt dust of someone dear.

The universe does its show to make me remember these times.

Mourning

Today, my grand mother died. I saw her last on Sunday, when I said goodbye. Although the news were expected soon, I had to retire to the restroom to cry. Somehow her image of that last Sunday was so sad I was relieved she passed away without staying too long in a vegetative state. The guilt will follow me from now on, ad so I cried.

Pangs of sadness still hit me unexpectedly as I mourn for a woman I could not understand for her simplicity. She had a faith I may never have, and her frail frame will stay in my mind as I hold her hand for the last time.

I cry for my Mom as she lost her Mommy. I cannot imagine the feeling and miss her dearly. I hope she is not too exhausted and can relieve her heart's sorrow.

This was a last day, of Nenibe, and a last day for me as well.

Sunset at 5pm

Ambushed from 100 sides/Hiding everywhere

Well, that's exactly how I feel coming back from my vacation. Ambushed by the temperature difference (from +26C to -2C), disoriented by the not so familiar city, known only for 4 months, unable to remember routine at work, and emotionally crippled by feelings of guilt, loss and lust.

I have had smoother retuns. This time though, full moon, hormones, fatigue and others built up to a sense of alienation unknown till then. I was not even sure of my address given to the cab driver when I drove back from the airport. At work, speaking on the phone was awkward and I felt like a new starter, fumbling for words, trying to make sense to myself.

Inside, my feelings are a jumble of survival instict to carry on no matter what and to coldly face the day, and a tendency to slouch and let go of all the things unsaid for almost 10 years. I should not be so considerate and selfishly guess or make up others's feelings. But a thing unsaid here and there ultimately dragged on too long and now there is this humoungous fear of being too late or having missed an opportunity.

When the Ripper shows up its shadow,...No, when you hear the sound of the hooves carrying him (well, he/she is riding a valiant horse in my imagination), feelings seem to rush about, sorting out people around me (and not so near physically). I now understand how awful and unwanted the word 'regret' is.

Because I do not want to feel regret, I need to sort out the words so that they make sense. But where to start?

*Hiding everywhere is the babelfish translation to 十面埋伏, which opened in the box office as...House of Flying Daggers

Nip tuck maybe?

To investigate my frequent dizziness and a small needlepin pain at the heart elvel, I've taken an afternoon off to see a physicial recommended by a colleague. Turned out though she was sick herself and was off today. So I had to use the yello pages and find one that could fit me in his/her schedule today. A bit of short notice but at the worst I would have gone to the hospital which is not too far. It was very difficult to find a general doctor because everyone seem to be of some specialty or other, or homeopathic.

I was saved from being among loads of diseases at the hospital by finding this general doctor not far from my house. However, I got the surprise of seeing his title on the door of his clinic: esthetic surgeon. AHEM...Well, at the very best I was going for liposucion I suppose, but I was afaraid for my bank accoutn as well.

In the waiting room, the 4th wall was a huge mirror. I was on my own, and reflected on the fact that indeed there seem to be lots of esthetic practicians around town, from hair dressers to surgeons. Lots of pamphlets about how to disclose you natural beauty were available, and unmarked beauty products were on display. A handsome man was saying goodbye to the doctor.

When doing his diagnose on me, he scolded me for not taking anti-malarial drugs before and during my trip to Senegal. he also scolded me for not wearing a bra (well, I was having a heartache, I was not going to wear that corsetry, dammit!!!). Anyway, there is nothing wrong with my brain apparently, I have a small virus infection and he prescribed a blood test (goutte epaisse) to test against the malaria bacteria...

A liposucion would have been nice. But I guess I have to go to the butcher for that. Which reminds me, in Senegal, the butcher shop is called 'la dibiterie'...it made me go on for a whole day..hehehehe

Happy new year 2010

Christmas lunch

O tannenbaum...

Turning a page

The pre holiday blues hit me again this year, with its share of
sentimental breakdown and body aches. It is annoying when the same
person I want to forget is the first person i want to talk to and seek
consolation from. Once again I am stuck in that one sided longing.

I was 2 inches from acting on my emotions and blurt out the whole spectrum of melodramatic speeches. But my fever abated and I found a courage and new hope in my work and the list of places I want to see, the list of things awaiting for me to experience.

After working hard, we play hard...

What we did on Wednesday: discover the concourse for 10min, qualifications for 10min and a 20min race where they did 36 laps...I did 29. I was not last though...someon got sick and had to stop racing.
So I finished, but with my whole body shaking and so weak.

But we all enjoyed it.

Now there is a talk to start a championship, having points etc...
Thanks to M for the pics:







And the person to beat is chief.

Shh listen to the snow

It is very difficult to work when Christmas is a week away and snow has laid its coat all over the country. The craving for hot chocolate and fondue is intense.
I can't wait for timorrow to play on my terrace covered with snow!

Snow

I landed in the evening and could not see the surrounding snowy
mountains. But driving home in the midst of fluttering snowflakes
drilled in this feeling of winter cold and fuzzy vanilla spice scents.

15 days before Christmas, or before my days off

And so it begins, the rush for shopping, making list, then shopping for more things that are not on the list. This weekend it begins with a trip away from this shopping desert: I don't want any more chocolate, and I sure don't want any watch.

More than that though, I need to reset.

It's crazy how I managed to create new habits last summer, moving out here, but old habits are very hard to get rid off. I bite my nails again and have already changed the furniture arangement in the room 3 times.

New resolutions dawn every morning and dies everyday around 6pm. I am stucck on page 8 of my music sheet, and chapter 18 of my Japanese book. The only hope I have is that I keep having resolutions... I feel comfortably stuck in my life...and seeing the amount I pay for health insurance every month, I should live more dangerously and break a leg every 3 months.

Today was children's day at work and loads of tots and dolls came to attend a puppet show. They were all individually cute and sweet, but all together gave me a major headache and anxiety. They are scary in their innocence and freedom. And even scarier because a couple of them could easily irritate me (bless my godchild, lol).

What's positive lately?


I sleep better at night despite the neighbour upstairs walking with wooden cloggs on wooden floor every night and every early morning. The plants I bought last week are still green, and this week will be sunny.

I need my holidays and for my heart to go 'kyuuuuun'....

A chocolaterie

Well even the chocolate is dressed up for Christmas

Moonrise over the snow

This morning at 7:40am, I was riding the shuttle half asleep when my frozen eyeballs registered the view over the lake. It was going to be a cloudless morning and I could see the snow over half of the mountain's height as well as the huge luminous moon reflecting the sunrise. After fumbling in my handbag searching for my camera, I couldn't stop the curses when it ran out of battery as I tried to take a picture. So I ended up with the phone camera.

I cannot complain that: this place has a way to keep me in awe at unexpected times.