The quiet moment that makes me look back and smile, is when I picture the moment I fall in love. It's usually a blurry and silent moment, because my memory erased all sounds and only remembers one beat of my heart, a single intake of air that stays frozen in time.
A crush has a scent of colonne or after-shave, and usually emotions come bursting into full fledged lust. My crushes are my source of light headedness and replaying of impossible ero-scenarios until I face reality and surprise myself day dreaming or being stupid.
That suspended moment in time when I fall for someone is the beginning of my worries. At that time I fully acknowledge my feelings for him: his pains become mine, his joys are my source of joy, etc...typical textbook cliche. Every casual time spent together becomes happiness.
I tend to forget about what I want during those happy times. I loose myself into making him happy that I sometimes erase myself. (Un?)Fortunately my tolerance is pretty low (and maybe selfishness is only dormant) so the smallest misconduct annoys me and my over-reaction is to pull back to re-assess what the relationship is giving me...Being a very idealistic person, I usually assume he reads minds. Being an unforgiving type, I have a hard time with all types of treachery.
Looking back could make me want to get back to those times, to fall in love again.
But first,
let me heal the wounds after falling...It's not all cotton buds, rose petals and feather we are falling into.
1 comment:
what ...
you blog and I was too busy at LOD's to not see this coming.
wow awesome posts btw
joan from somewhere cold
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