失敗した (I failed)

I received the JLPT score and was very surprised, not because I didn't pass, but because my score in the different sections were not what I expected.

 The score for language knowledge is tough even if I was expecting something like that. The passing score is 50/60 for that section, so I have a lot of work to do. There is a table indicating the pass score to be 19/60 but still, given the overall pass score at 95/180, I needed at least a 31/60 in that section to pass. The score is language knowledge is detailed in the score for Vocabulary and Grammar, since the only kanji I remember knowing was the character for tears...sniff. I need to have at least a B and score 50% or higher for vocabulary and grammar.

I was expecting a higher score for listening since I thought I understood things about 80%. So now I can correct myself and tell everyone I only understand 56.666667% of things I hear as it seems I misunderstand what I hear. The biggest surprise is the reading score. I know it is a scaled score but it feels strange to have a score of 30/60 when I answered at random, giving up at understanding the questions or the answers. I did try to read the texts to gather what they were about, but that was pretty much what I understood. I cannot even remember the theme anymore since I'm mixing them up with the mock tests I have done.

So in short, I passed Reading and Listening (passing score is 19/60) but I have lots of vocabulary and grammar to catch up...sigh

And now the big debate: shall I register for the July exam or not? And at what level?

Potty talk

Because I tend to drink quite a lot of water or tea at work, and my bladder only holds half a cup of liquid maximum, I usually go to the toilet every 30-60min. I experience all level of cleanliness on the 1st floor, from pristine to right outrageous. And this is a corporate environment. I always wonder how some women leave such disgusting traces: do they stand on the toilet to hit the wall? Do they sit facing the flush? I really cannot understand why there are shoe marks on the toilet.
 

Then there is the meet and greet. I prefer to ignore everyone when going to do my business. Why do you say hello and smile? Do you expect me to have a friendly conversation? Even if I walk along to the place with a friend, as soon as we push that door with the ladies sign, you are not anybody, so let me focus on finding a lean place to put my bottom!

The first order of business after passing that door is choosing a booth. For my part, the booth to use is never chosen randomly. The criteria are smell and cleanliness. There are 3 booths to choose from. The sink area as well as the booths have their own timer-sensored lights. If I am lucky, there is a booth that has no light on that is available. That means noone has been in there for  while. In term of odor, it would be the safest. If it is clean enough, then it will be used. If one booth is being used, the farthest booth is the firs choice, unless it is disgusting. If the middle booth is busy, again select by odor and cleanliness...I am pretty sure those criteria are pretty the same for everyone.

Seriously though, there are people that lock themselves up in the toilet to speak on the phone, when there are plenty of fresh air outside, while admiring the Mont Blanc..

no sweating today...

I had a 9:00 morning appointment to the spa today for my first time at the Iyashi dome treatment. Beforehand, i probably drank 3L of water, between yesterday evening and this morning. So even after leaving the house my bladder was trying to empty itself mid-street in the cold crispy morning.

The was opened at ( as well so I lingered for about 2min outside before someone came to open shop. Then it turned out someone messed up the appointment schedule and overbooked the dome. So instead I was offered a treatment.

But first, i had to undress and put on this totally tiny paper thong. The most traumatizing could be when she measured my waistline, since I told her this is my problem area these days, and I hate to do crunches. All that precious information was immortalized on a piece of paper that I dated not to read.

The treatment was called cavitation, and uses an ultrasound machine to break down fat. The sound is quite high pitch as it resonates a lot, but after a while I got used to it. The area treated warms up a bit, and the therapist massaged me as well to help drain the fat. I need to exercise and drink 2L/day for 10 days to eliminate.

Next Saturday, I will try the iyashi dome for 6 more treatment. I feel like I have fallen into the plastic surgery world....

Magic body

This beautiful smooth face of mine always adorn a pimple. It is not always at the same place, as it seems to move from my chin, right next to my only beard hair, to the entrance of my nose.

Every month, it moves to a different place, and it takes a lot of BB cream to erase the stamp of a nasty pimple.

The weirdest place? Behind my left ear.

salty tears...

In periods of high (or maybe low) level of hormones, when the times comes and everything seem so bothersome, and my sensitivity is maximum, I can't help but think about sad things. It's not love, it's not care, it's what you would call nostalgia. It's the remembrance of things or lives that have passed and that could not be lived again.

As my chest tighten and the knot is tied in my throat, I listen to these songs to let it go. Because the memory of you, and the things I still want to do with you can only be materialized in my tears.


"Memories live on" by 4Men



"...Memories live on
To tear to pieces all facets for the memories alive
Faded memories of living on memories of the trail
As the Hourglass shattered memories alive
Forgot your gonna be alive tomorrow, so that
Tomorrow is gonna be alive for the memories forgotten "

"Distance" by Ft Island



Now, over the crossing
Someone who was always besides me stands
First snow of the season falls on her back who is walking not knowing anything.
My heart hurts as I run.

Because it was as if I left you behind.
Do I still exist in you?
As a selfish person.

Because I wanna see you.
Just wanna see you.


I was holding your image in myself.
Changes into memory
Not to fade it away

"I love sad songs too."


Why wasn't I able to realize?
Over the crowd, I see your back
I was reaching out my hand unconsciously


Even if it's too late
Gotta tell you "I'm sorry"
Otherwise I can't move on

So I ran after you.
Just ran after you
As if I cut through the crowd
I called your name
called many times
Did it reach?

But straight
Just straight
You keep walking forward
Never looking back

As if you leave everything behind
As if it's for me
I cannot still find the answer
What's right and what's wrong Please reflect me into your eyes once more time.

Let me ask you.
So I wanna see you.
Just wanna see you.
I was holding your image in myself

It wasn't a dream
It was a reality
But I let your hand go
Snow keeps falling.
My feeling gets stronger


Express train passes
By the time this crossing opens
you will probably not be there

You will probably not even be there