Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..stupor!!!

I was idly looking for split ends when trying to stay awake during a meeting when I encountered a shiny strand of hair...it wasn't reddish or thin, it was a spotlessly white/gray and as long as my other hair. What is this feeling? It is shock and also terror mixed with disbelief. This strand f hair has been growing like any other hair, and I only notice it now.

From that time on, all I notice is that strand of hair and I frantically look for it everywhere on my head now, to see if there are more. It feels I changed from a mere teenager to an old woman. I want to protest against the hair and say I am still young and pretty as a 10 year old, but at the same time I am resigned to accept that at my age I no longer can wear mini tank tops (because the belly flab will show) and have some responsibilities (to work to get money to eat)

Life is hard, and today life also gave me gray hair. sniff

sniff, arghh, scratch, atchoum...pouet!

It's that time of the year, when suddenly a ray of sun catches my pupils and make me sneeze. Like a long learned automatism, my eyes tear up, my nose itches and the inside of my throat starts to tingle. Every single breath of air becomes stuffy with flying bugs, pollens, dust, birds feathers, unidentified particules and and flowery fragrance.

After blowing my nose, scratching my throat with my tongue and picking my ears, it is too late to realize it was done in public. The weather is warming up so that is why it it best to stay on the move by walking, and avoid the public transports where loudly blowing your nose is only attracting attention to you condition.

A superb idea dawned on me today when I entered a pharmacy and asked for eye drops. She offered some and also some allergy medicine (which I already have). I bought them all to stock up for the season and hopefully I will have a scratch-free evening tonight.

pouet!! I somewhow manage to add my own fragrance to the world...

My tulips for you

Some news about shale gas

Here is a bit of an interesting article about shale gas.  It will be probably more and more in the news from now on and it is interesting to learn about the nature and impact of that new energy source.

April's fool

Insomnia victim...

My first ...being last

So i finished the 8.2km race in 1hour 2min, a full 5min faster than what my usual pace during training is. To be fair i was last from the beginning and after crossing path with everyone else encouraging me, i had the full honor of having the green fluorescent motor biker closing path behind me. During the huge slopes upward he would stop 300m ahead of me and wait. After a few encouraging words he would again advance further, and it continued like that until e let me run the last 200m on my own.
At arrival, the commentator was yelling my name to encourage me and incited all other spectators to applaud my achievement, saying that maybe it was my first race (bless!).

I gave my best smile and my best attempt to a sprint on the last 10m and then headed for the prize stand...yes of course I did all this for the prize..which turned out to be a bottle of red wine, produced by the winery where the race started and ended.

I am pretty happy i didn't injure myself on the huge slopes and didn't cramp. I ran out of breath too often to run consistently but i focused on the downward slopes not to roll carelessly. There were scary slopes with beautiful sights of the lake Geneva and the still snowy tops of the Jura.
This means I can increase my training pace to 8.0 - 8.5km/h in the next week and also do the hour run twice a week. GO ME!!

My first good song

I finally managed to learn a whole song, chords and lyrics in one afternoon. It is a sort song but I have no more feelings at my left fingertips. It feels lik cold needles are pricking at them as soon as they touch any surface. Maybe I should actually numb them once and for all in ice so that  I can continue practicing.

Before I have the confidence to post my cover of the song, here is the original.

Getting off work

'dear Father'

On friday morning, the live feed on tv showing a massive wave of destroyed habitat trampling over fields, people and everything it encountered put me in a strange state. My first reaction was to check by any mean the welfare of anyone I know in the area affected. The second reaction, most surprising, was to fly there myself and help...
Some people in Madagascar probably live in poorer conditions but somehow I felt more sympathy for a faraway land. Maybe it is because I only had good and precious memories there.
I have thought hard about the second impulse and deduced it could be different things:
-the fact that I long to feel needed again and that my current job does not provide me that satisfaction anymore. In short it is pure selfishness.
-I always want to go to Japan
-maybe I am having my midlife crisis where I feel I would risk my life and do things impulsively
A disturbing nightmare visited me that night where a savage human preyed on another one, eating at his convulsed and foaming face while I watch horrified and unable to do anything but silently scream.
That sight still haunts me during my waking hiurs and I am not sure what inspired that vision.
Over the weeken, I found myself praying for the survivors, that they find courage and strength to go through the difficult life ahead of them: no food, no water, no shelter, no job, etc...and I was unable to pray for my friend when she had her surgery...
They would call it irrational.
In any case I feel I miss the comforting presence of my dear papa in this situation as he experienced disasters like this more often than he wished for.

Little corner

Every time I visit the little corner, I have the oddest strongest emotion and promise myself to share it somehow. Maybe it is a sign that I have become a robot at work and the only time I manage to feel anything is in the privacy of a 2 suqare meter.

First there is a whole algorithm in to choosing which stall to use: the place has movement sensing lights and after a few minutes the light goes off in each stall. So when coming in, once can choose among 3 cubicles. I usually choose the one farthest away from the one occupied, or the one with the light off. I probably put too much thought into it...kekeke


One time I was tempted to steal a paper roll as it was very thick paper with cute little flower design. it was a bit strange to be attracted to a shiny white roll like that.

Another time  was so disgusted at the traces of mud all over the place on the bowl I angrily yelled how the hell people do their business sometimes.

Finally there is the bathroom chitchat. I never quite understand why people decide to engage in useless conversation in such a place, when clearly all I want to do is clear my mind and relax a bit. So when someone is trying to chat and I am really not in the mood, I dry my hands with that airplane sounding dyson hand dryer...deafening the whole floor in the same process and knocking myself down unconscious for a few seconds...

Let me feel pain...good pain...

it was a good relaxing day to try something new, since I got old and all. So I went for a thai massage at this place and got some interesting experience.

First of all it was my time of the month, and I was a bit nervous it would be unpleasant for the masseur. But I had more stressful things to worry about once the massage started. My belly started acting up, and lying on my belly, and him pulling and pushing me flat on the ground like a crepe, I was worried I would just fart out loud...

Somehow though, just as I was about to explode, he pushed here and there on my body and the gaz stayed inside me. not sure if that is good or bad, but I would say at that moment it was good for both of us.

Then lying on my back, my stomach was making all sorts of growling noises that made me laugh out loud of nervousness and embarrassment. It was past 16:30 and I still had one hour to go. It was really nice though, as every part of my body he touched was painful, and his massage really untied some of the knots I have been carrying for years.

I just wish my stomach would stop talking and scare the hell out of me. next time I will try the swedish massage. I bet that is even more painful...

Getting olderrrrr

I made my firsta ttempt to Yosenabe to celebrate my last day of 3xyears old with friends. We managed to eat only half of it but most of the seafood were eaten. I made dashi for the first time from scratch and I really loved the taste. 

In the nabe we cooked the carrots, shiitake mushrooms, daikon slices (lotus roots), small clams, mussels and we finished with shrimps.

While waiting for the broth to boil, we had pumpkin in soy sauce, tofu with sesame seeds and green onions, and raw tuna salad.

I have lots of leftovers, especially all the meat that we did not cook...

The 6 of them suprsed me with presents and a birthday cake for dessert...so sweet.

 

One of my guests made a birthday cake for me...More of her creations are at http://www.jucutecakes.com/

Snowboard weekend highlights

I managed to score a ticket tot the company's winter sports weekend in Crans Montana, in Valais. It is about 3h from Geneva by coach and this time we were not stuck in snow like last year. In fact, I didn't see any snow at all when we arrived at the hotel, and got a bit worried we would have to get to the glacier before getting any snow. However as we mingled during the apero, those who arrived in the morning and were on the slopes indicated that they had very good snow. The weather forecast was sunny and 13C at the hotel level (about 1500m), so it didn't really feel like winter.

Saturday morning was stressful as we had to pick up the equipment from the rental shop. That morning started with 25min walk to town, picking up my tiny 135cm snowboard (apparently the latest design), and the not so uncomfortable snowboard shoes. Back at the hotel by bus, I found out the instructor left already (it was only 9:15am!) and I had to join them 150m away from the hotel, at the closest lift cabins. But those 150m were on a 60degree uphill slope so it was a huffing and puffing exercise to warm up for the slopes. Got there in one piece and joined a group of 2 instructors and 5 other beginners. After 2 telecabins, 2 chairlifts and a 5 min walk, we finally got to our destination: jardin des neiges, where all beginners get used to moving on snow...usually at the age of 3...

 

 

Ready for 2 days of "no pain, no shame, no gain", we launched ourselves on the slope and tumbled, crashed, rolled, bumped like a suicide squad for 2 hours, to finally be able to finish that one slope standing on the board...All in all, everyone managed to slide down the slope on their heels, so it was amazing to look back on the falls we had. In term of body pains, there is no words to describe the butt pains or knee pains...The sunny weather kept the mood high, and a drink or 2 helps relax the muscles.

Lunch was very late as 100 people from Nescafe were ahead of us, so we starved until 2pm before getting our delicious pizza. In the afternoon, I managed to do a right turn consistently but still crashed on the left turn.

The next day, I was up at 7:30am to get to the slopes at 9:00am. The weather was still beautiful and I probably tanned just resting on the conveyor belts. I had my knee pads on but still crashed on my back and butts so that i could not even sit comfortably for breakfast or lunch. Neck and headaches were part of the day as the left turn kept putting me on my knees and back. I was having a Zoolander moment. But eventually, I downed that slope in smooth turns before lunchtime and forgot the pains..until I sat down on the bench to get lunch.

Another hour of practice in the afternoon with the other girl that stuck it up and didn't give up, and we were happy to slide down more comfortably without loosing too many limbs. I really enjoyed it more than skiing, despite the painful crashes. For now, I am recovering with my blue knees, stuck neck and sore buttocks in sunny Geneva.

Sore and wet bottom after a full day of snowboard

it's been a while ....Aquarius, but you are puurrfect!!!

The sun sign Aquarius is associated to water. People who are born under this sign can be categorized in to two sections. One who are shy, humble, gentle, soft spoken and patient and the rest are lively, exuberant and witty. They become instantly popular for their strong determination and will power. If you know an Aquarius, be sure that he will be you through thick and thin. The Aquarius doesn’t get easily involved into relationships but once they enter into one, they can be the best confidante. They are well known for their devotion and dedication. Honest and outspoken you can be rest assured that if you commit a mistake the person will make you see it and persuade you to admit your flaw till you agree.
They are the eleventh sign in the list of sun signs and are extremely conscientious socially and this is what takes them through to the new age. They have a vision and they can progress long with that. The water bearer is the symbol of the Aquarians and they bring forward life to the people they are with. Original and detached, they are gifted with rare qualities. They are very giving in nature but they give on their own condition and can be quite inflexible at times.
The Aquarius often has an artistic bent of mind. They like to indulge in performing arts and literature. They have their own sets of ideas and principles which they don't like to compromise with. Their imaginations run wild which sometimes make them appear serious or unmindful. This is the phase when they tend to be aloof even from their friends. This is the time when they you should deal with him patience providing him enough space to be himself. They might be rude or resentful during when in a bad mood but you have to know that they don't mean what they say. The Aquarius is arisen when they develop hatred for someone. They might go to the extreme to take revenge.
Aquarius precisely goes around with a sign that says 'Handle with Care' as they can be equally a cranky as they are generally warm hearted and kind. Though unpredictable at times you can always rely on their honesty and loyalty.
Aquarius match very well with Librans and they are considered to be the perfect match. Both go together like a house on fire. So, Librans find your perfect match with immediate affect!

Happy new (rabbit) year 2011!!

Closing comments for 2010

2010 has been a year filled with painful firsts and realizations, but also some exciting highlights:
-family losses and the realization of being human, the meaning of mortality, and another taste at "regret"
-and also the comforting and beauty of family
-2hour attempt at snowboarding, in rainy weather and mushy snow
-regular badminton games
-getting a fringe again, inspired by some k-drama actress (yeah, it's quite big in my life these days)
-having korean barbecue meal surrounded by posters of kpop flower boys
-learning to control sheer disgust or repulsive feeling toward my 2nd boss to accomplish my work professionally
-looking at some guy and literally wanting to have his baby! (hormones, when did you become so unreasonable?)
-taking a 3D picture in the Sony showroom
-first contact with Singapore, and road trip to Venice


I suppose the o-mikuji I got at Izumo Taisha was right: that it was a crucially painful year but I had to keep believing and be grateful to the (8000+) Gods and I would be fine. Time stops at some point for me and I get to be wondering where I am headed, and many glittering unattainable and possible futures form up in my imagination to get me going. I promised myself to clear my emotions up in 2011 and be as decisive as in year 2009, when I managed to travel to Japan on my own strength.

As I feel weak physically when fighting the cold that keeps me from sleeping, the best cure for me is still to work hard to get that dream situation come true or become that "me" I want to see in the mirror. For the first time, I am noticing it would be tough and tiring. I am tempted to give up but that is no longer an option. A certain sense of urgency has taken over.

For 2010 though, I indeed thank the Shinto Gods for letting me recover with my family and the happiness of my friends.

Tired of waiting - 2PM

Getting tired while waiting… (U know?)
Gotten tired while waiting and~
U Know, do you know how I feel?
Gotten tired while waiting~
Do you still remember me? (Oh~ no)
Even if a day goes by, I'll still remember you
Even if a month goes by, I still won't let you go
Can you understand my desires for you? (oh~no)
Going insane while waiting
and each day feels like a year.
Oh~ I, I I I~ was waiting and while I was waiting,( yeah~)
It felt as if you would come back
or if I look back I would see your face

Oh~ I I I I~ am going insane, going insane (yeah~)
I am holding back just in case you come back, (oh yeah~ )
I am still waiting (oh yea~)
Even if a month goes by, I'll still remember you.
Even if a year goes by, I still won't let you go
Can you understand my desires for you? (oh~no)
Going insane while waiting
and each day feels like a year.
Oh~ I, I I I~ was waiting and while I was waiting
It felt as if you would come back
or if I look back I would see your face
Oh~ I I I I~ am going insane, going insane (yeah~)

Why is it so hard
and everything's so complicated in my head.
I was waiting and waiting
and yet no answers from you
I didn't cry because of you
and you didn't leave because of me
So why is it so hard, why is it so hard?

I will wait for a year
or even a decade if I have to.
Oh~ I I I I I I I I will wait and it's fine if tire myself out.
Going insane while waiting
and each day feels like a year.
Oh~ I, I I I~ was waiting and while I was waiting
It felt as if you would come back
or if I look back I would see your face
Oh~ I I I I~ am going insane, going insane (yeah~)

2 suns this morning

 

Somehow the rising sun reflected in a dense cloud this morning..eerie feeling of a 2 sun planet

Very cold cold return