It has been more than a year since I sat down and wrote something. Maybe I was out of time, or maybe I did not want to look inside myself and face the faults I have been trying to ignore.
I held a handwritten journal during what I usually think as the lowest point of my life. I have emerged from it as the voice of social norm indicated there are worse off than myself.
But since I am confined to myself, before I look forward, I have to look back a bit to learn what I should avoid. With a bit of perspective, I may find what I should run to. A sense of urgency has taken over me, as I finally understand how time is affecting me and those around me.
When I have a good time, it sure is with friends and family. We learn from each other and we plan the future together. But I sense that we could do much more. I will explore what we enjoyed doing well and what was painfully necessary but helping us grow.
When I am about to explode from frustration, I just want everything around me to dissapear in pain. Why the frustration? I was told we had different values and priorities and I could not understand that. Indeed in the past 9months I believe I forced myself to let go of people's incompetence, insensitivity inefficiency and malpractice. After all, what matters is only how I rate myself and how I can iprove.
So while my weekend routine is extended to weekdays - though including working from the kitchen - I will finally learn to prioritize myself and feelings, and finding a new dream.
I held a handwritten journal during what I usually think as the lowest point of my life. I have emerged from it as the voice of social norm indicated there are worse off than myself.
But since I am confined to myself, before I look forward, I have to look back a bit to learn what I should avoid. With a bit of perspective, I may find what I should run to. A sense of urgency has taken over me, as I finally understand how time is affecting me and those around me.
When I have a good time, it sure is with friends and family. We learn from each other and we plan the future together. But I sense that we could do much more. I will explore what we enjoyed doing well and what was painfully necessary but helping us grow.
When I am about to explode from frustration, I just want everything around me to dissapear in pain. Why the frustration? I was told we had different values and priorities and I could not understand that. Indeed in the past 9months I believe I forced myself to let go of people's incompetence, insensitivity inefficiency and malpractice. After all, what matters is only how I rate myself and how I can iprove.
So while my weekend routine is extended to weekdays - though including working from the kitchen - I will finally learn to prioritize myself and feelings, and finding a new dream.
