Dogs of Lust (The The)

Sun! sun! sun! suuuuuuun...

AHEM
After an excessively drunken Friday evening where I drank way too much to behave (cuba libre, bloody mary, rhum and coke, mojito) and danced like a mad woman, I ahd to face the fact that saturday was very sunny and that I was expected at Regent's Park for an all jocks afternoon...well, I assumed we were going to play games and chill...my meetup at Great Portland St station however was completely dressed up for sports, so i felt out of place with my jeans and sneakers...ah well, the first order of the day was to detox of all the alcohol molecules that were navigating through my blood. After wandering about the park looking for the group, Sherlock finally spotted them, and I was relieved to find out they were not wearing team jerseys..hahaha

In any case, a fun day at the park, celebrating a birthday with a 99.9% american expats, playing kickball (baseball with a football), frisbee, ultimate frisbee, football, american football, and for me by the end of the afternoon, cloud gazing and listening to trees whispering...my adductors were hurting and my head was finally feeling the hang over..arghhh. Almost felt like college and lying around on the Drillfield. I managed to also hurt my knee while stumbling over the football...really, I am clearly out of shape, but at least I was happy not to be like the other 6 girls who came dressed up for talk and gossip and would build a cheerleading pyramid instead of doing sports...giving me headaches.


Next day, the sun was out again (SURPRISE!) despite all the wet and rainy forecast during the whole week. The Viking reminded me of the Red Bull air race in Canary Wharf so dragged the new flatmate (need to find an alias for her) and Happy Feet down there as well...we were too late though and ended up avoiding the crowd getting into the tube by starting to follow a moving crowd walking along the Thames route...that was a 2miles adventure along the most industrialized banks of the Thames, with rotten smells and wrecks. The view was pretty nice for a litle while, but we were relieved to finally get to Cutty Sark, where Greenwich Meridien is...


Met the Viking, grabbed some food at the Museum Cafe, and then headed home completely knackered.

And today, more sun...but unfortunately I have to work ET hours...ironic.

The world is changed by discontent men and women

«Le monde n'est qu'un égout sans fond où les phoques les plus informes rampent et se tordent sur des montagnes de fange.»
On ne badine pas avec l’amour (Alfred de Musset)

Maybe Lady Justice is not that blind, or karma is really master of this world's events. In any case, my getting a new job definetely changes my world. And those who didn't bother appreciate my good will and performances only have themselves to blame for the turn of events that leaves them short staffed and ridiculized.

A few picturesque observations on this day:
-in the tube today, the well dressed man in front of me ruined it by ferociously seeking something in between his teeth at the back of his mouth...urghh
-I could see big rats frolicking outside, down on the ground, from the 4th floor of the building where I work....Those were huge rats the size of cats.
-my friedge only contains lettuce, which is rotting miserably as i keep eating out, and drinking like a viking (not beer though) so that I am growing pimples on my back and bum...disgusting...must stop the drinking.

All in all, I only have one more issue to deal with, and quickly before I burn into a pile of ashes: He WHO Cannot Be Named...must put him out of my head and away from me ASAP. I do not trust my strength and will not be distracted further.

Amado mio

By Pink Martini

Enchanted

At the Harry Potter book launch last friday night (Piccadily Circus Waterstones bookstore)
I was the only Ravenclaw girl there as far as I could tell. Lots of muggles..

Una furtiva lagrima - Donizetti

Sung by Placido Domingo

Una furtiva lagrima
Negli occhi suoi spuntò... quelle festose giovani invidiar sembrò...
Che più cercando io vo?
M'ama, lo vedo.
Un solo istante i palpiti
Del suo bel cor sentir!..
Co' suoi sospir confondere per poco i miei sospir!...
Cielo, si può morir;
Di più non chiedo

Anger management

In some situation, I can see myself very angry and put on my hate mask. In those moments, a burning rage builts up from my inner soul, spreads dangerously through my hormonal circuits and takes hold of my stomach, throat and brain. It distorts all other feelings that I know I can feel on a regular day, and makes me focus on how to impair, hurt and destroy the objects of my hate.
It is unbelievable to hate that strongly until you can actually taste it in your mouth and your mind is already churning ways to pulverize those people, their family, etc...I am not talking about sudden death or dissapearance, I am talking about the Count of Monte Cristo vengeance or vendetta: slow, inevitable, humiliating, and self inducted misery and death.

Unfortunately for me, I haven't found a way to achieve that.

Most importantly, I need to focus on what I am going to do next for myself, to steer away from any confrontation or dealings with those useless incompetent and despiseful egos, and progress my life and career. For I wear my emotions on my sleeves and will not be able to hide my passionate loathing for long.

Mint tea

Sunday morning in London dew
As silent as a coral reef
And as sweet as 'goodness gracious me'

Waking up to the sound of mint tea
Stretching in slow motion
life lezards in the languid music and languages of the Mediterranea
bringing in heady aroma of spices over the market hustle
An old man is following his cane
My mind is lolling and easing into a lazy mood

When the bitter aftertaste hits my throat
You are not with me
My palate long for that sweet freshness
Like my head starves for your sight
I drink some more
And as long as the pot isn't empty
There is a hope of enjoying your intimacy
And the delicate moments when I miss you.

Fire fire...are u running yet?

Received this morning by email...makes you wonder..

From: Someone silly who cannot be named.
Sent: 12 July 2007 10:54
To: !All *** London Staff
Subject: FIRE ALARM TEST

THE ALARM IS GOING OFF NOW



.

Sorted!

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

Sunday alarm clock

Locked myself in. Who has the key?

Unfortunately I am still not very good at the trusting part. I don't look for the emergency exits in public places as often as before anymore. But when a good thing presents itself, it's as if it is too good to be true and my mind is looking for the catch. Worse even, when I let myself some space to easily drift away, deception hits me in the face like a log falling on my neck. A vicious circle of mine...

Oh and really, people should not write these kind of lyrics...speaking of twisting the knife in the wound...beautiful, self induced pain, listening to this thing...



Love is a Losing Game (Amy Winehosue)

For you I was the flame,
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came,
Love is losing game

One I wish I never played,
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band,
Love is a losing hand
MOre than I could stand,
Love is a losing hand

Self professed and profound
Tilter tips were down
Know you’re a gambling man
Love is a loosing hand

Tho' I battled blind,
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind,
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds,
And laughed at by the Gods
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

Confessions

Saturday lunch: 1 stale croissant from the BBC restaurant, 1 White chocolate bar, plenty of water.

Saturday dinner: 1 grilled chicken salad, 1 huge vanilla milkshake, 1 mojito, 1 non identified brew (just can't remember the name but it had passion fruit and pineaple juice), plenty of water.
Saturday after midnight snack: 1 salmon and cheddar bagel


Sunday breakfast: 1 detox mix (some juice really), 1 pear, plenty of water.

Sunday mid-afternoon brunch: 1 fish and chips, 1 coke, 1 cider, plenty of water.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Calorie count: LOADS, probably 2 035 078Kcals at least!
Company: top quality
Fun level: high
Sobriety: minimum
Wish list: R rated

Bent reality

So lately I have seen very worrying signs in the neighbourhood. A few weeks ago, I came across a lad with all sorts of backbacking attire and trinkets beg for 30p for a phone call...in my street whent there is no phone booth in a 100m radius! Plus seriously the street has like 4 people/min walking through it, not really the busiest street. So now am a bit anxious when I walk home late at night because they could be hungry drug addicts, desperate for their next fix. I don't know what happened to the area but it sure brings spills of bad seeds in the quiet Banglatown.

Another sign was on monday early morning when I walked to work (okay, my daily 15min to the tube, hehehehe). Just outside the bulding, on the street, I could see a woman get out of a car, and put on some clothes. Then she noticed me and the guy in the car yelled something at her so that she got back in the car. But I could see she was topless and wearing very strange knickers. I tried to pretend I was invisible when walking past the parked car. WTF? It was 06:20 and daylight was imprinting these images on my barely woken mind...urgh...so much for breakfast.

I tried to grasp some air after the initial compulsive gagging, and saw a police car parking in front of the BanglaCash & carry. then a uniformed man (that light reflecting fluorescent yellow plastic jacket) and a non uniformed woman (that looked like an old alcoholic butcher) came out and walked in the street I was about to take. I had my ipod at a hair rising volume (trying to wake up still), so I coudn't hear much of the outside world, but I managed to say good morning and i heard a loud good morning from the woman. Then they knocked on a door and I left them behind...It's nice to know they work as early as I do, and ring the bell instead of knocking loudly. But still, a police sighting is not very reassuring at times...

And as I was about to cross the road, another old hooker was yelling for 50p to make a phone call...Seriously, aren't they creatures of the night or something? My whole vision of the nice early morning walk just crumbled into piles of old and despairing smelly bones...arghhhhhh

The irony of it all came to mind when I saw the stage for the Britain's Next Top Model runway being set up on the market, just after the crossroads...Six figured salarymen during the day, and 50p begging whores and druggies during the night timeshare the area...

So many people in this town, so many needs, and so many ethics....
I live by pretending that what disturbs me does not exist....until they clash with my reality.

Money is not everything

'Keep in mind that gifts are all about the sentiment they represent -- what they cost is not necessarily important. So if you are shopping for a gift right now, don't overspend. Chances are, this person won't know how much you spent on it -- and if they did, they would feel more guilty than grateful. Think about giving them something that they really want and could use in their everyday life. That way, they'll think of you often -- and your gift will become an extension of your feelings.'

And then on another site:
'Your cash flow should be looking good today, and there could be a chance to generate a few extra bucks too. This is great timing, because what better excuse do you need for visiting the mall for a new outfit than a fabulous celebratory day? Romance is well aspected too!'

Really silly today...