Old and beautiful

For half a day she tried on the life of a pampered woman : spending that half a day soaking in a hot bath till she wrinkled up, getting ready to walk in the cold to the hairdresser, enjoying a head massage and a new haircut (by a 'director' please! not just a stylist), then healthy dinner with sushi.

All in all though nothing else was done: no studying, no worrying..just magazine reading...kind of letting vacuum take hold of her brain.

Tomorrow, she'll be back as normal, filling up her head with kanji, information about her next trip, and worries about her future 'I'...

My new home

Picking up keys

My very 1st flower!

A timid hope amongst lifeless greens

This is how they bully me at work...spam mail!

MIdnight shuffle (Kondo Masahiko)

Rather than trying to live strongly
In order to truly become strong
On the edge of the rooftop
I let my wounded feathers tremble
I look up at the cool night sky

I drown in the thrill of frauds
I run into the intense knife blade
What is reality?
Where is the truth?
The blue sky seems further away the more I worry

A devilish smile like an angel
It is overwhelming this town
It seems like it could be broken, it seems it could be lost
But it will definitely go out and find
A true heart

If under the weight of the dream you carry
Your arms are becoming a little tired
It will be alright
Because I will support you
Don’t falter, just believe in that dream

A devilish voice like an angel
I can hear it in my chest
I haven’t sinned yet I am suffering
That heart is painfully
Continuing to call me…

What is reality?
Where is the truth?
The blue sky seems further away the more I worry

A devilish smile like an angel
It is overwhelming this town
A devilish voice like an angel
I can hear it in my chest
I haven’t sinned yet I am suffering
That heart is painfully
Continuing to call me…

The meaning of one's life and hell

I am supposed ot review for my exam which is on Thursday 10am, but instead of reading the 500+ pages required, I watched this addictive series called Maou. For those who want to take a break from Pokemon island (evil laugh) or to watch a less bloddy version of Saw, this is quite a thriller.

What impressed me most were the character's take on vengeance, hell, and atonement. The emotions are pretty raw and poignant in the series, and each character is somewhat complex. It is a series in which it is pretty difficult to hate even the 'meanest' character.

Finally, it made me feel like hell is only a threat if one understands what it feels while alive: to loose one's loved ones, not to be believed in, to be rejected by society, for example. And that vengeance can take up your whole life, which can loose its meaning once vengeance is achieved.

Tokyo, here I come

After many long months of debating and searching for a decent ticket for Japan, I finally decided on using my £250 voucher from AF (thanks striking pilots!), and booked my economy, non changeable ticket to the far east.

My month of May should be quite interesting indeed. I even have the possibility to participate in a homestay program for a week, and experience what it is to be ina Japanese family. Part of the attraction is to eat homecooking food! And maybe to learn some as well.

The only scary and appalling part? I only have 20kg checked luggage allowed!!! Hopefully it will be a warm spring season, though I'll miss the cherry blossom viewing (unless I go north to Hokkaido). But I guess I won't be carrying to heavy souvenirs on my way back.

Counting the days (and counting the calories not to eat, as I don't wanna be the fattest person there)...asian people are so thin, even my arm would give them a heart attack. It will be a full culture shock for me, but I do not want to shock them either by being foreign, dar skinned, AND fat...grrrrr..at least I'd liek to fit in my nice clothes...from 3 years ago. resolution? no...necessity.

Babble, babble, babel...?

So how many of my friends have kids now? And how many of them are already trillingual by birth? Just imagine, in 20 years, with everyone moving and expatriating all over the place, most kids will be trillingual...maybe the percentage is already close to 50% in some areas?

I remember something about most Europeans being billingual nowadays: local language and the native one, or the local language and English.

I wonder, will the left brain take over the right brain then? Or will it grow bigger? Mind you, there are already so many right handed people already, it shouldn't change much..but I wonder still..would you become left handed to relieve your left brain???

And so while looking for lateralization of brain function, I stumbled on NLP, which is used in managerial training, and which seems to be some bullshit disguised as a formula for success...but! Everyone believes in it and get NLP certified....interesting...

In with the new year

I finally saw the fireworks on the Thames....from my bedroom window! As the chimes rang on Big Ben on the BBC, the horizon lit up with a kaleidoskope of lights, silently spilling upward. There must be thousands of people huddled underneath those lights, freezing blue and cheering the new born year, trying hard to believe in hope and new starts.

As nine replaces eight, a second later than usual, a certain bitterness stays: an after taste of ways of doing things better or wasted opportunities? Or is this just the feeling of time passing by? Why are the uneasy times better remembered than the happy times?

Happy times there were: a smile here and there, warming the gloomy mood. Laughs and cheers during family and friends reunions. A sense of small achievements upon a pay rise.

No matter how poignant the hard times are though, the short lived happiness that comes before is what I am looking forward to living again.