Using this pensieve...

On wednesday morning I had a bagel to remember the taste of my college years.
I also got my student card that says 'undergraduate' on it...yiikes!
My resolve to do a good job at work is wavering.
Something I picked up in 'Seirei no Moribito' this week: "When one has money, life can be the same wherever she/he goes or lives. When you don't have money, you get the opportunity to adapt to different situations." I'll have to remeber that one in case I become too needy and greedy.
Am I uncomfortable with the thought of being happy?

Confidential

Have you ever wondered why you did not choose that exciting option? Or risked everything for a new experience? When you are afraid of what people may think, how important are those people to you? Why are you lacking confidence in yourself?

I admit we shared a bottle of sparkling wine between 3 people. But we also somehow felt safe enough to confront those questions and listen to each other. it is amazing how very good looking people are unsecure about their hair, looks, behaviour or what people may think. Maybe I am just naive to only care about very few friends and family memebers opinions. Some find me fragile, strong, balanced, cold hearted, but to be honest, we only do things for ourselves anyway: selfless acts are very rare (I am sure there is an episode of Friends where Phoebe makes that statement).

To be strong is to be able to protect our loved ones...thus for your own satisfaction and happiness.
To love or to give is to see that other person smile or enjoy the gift, which is again for oneself's benefit or relief.

So really, being committed to oneself seems the viable option.

S&M..which one are you?

I feel like a woman when...

-People around me start comparing their mobile phnoe features, discussing the operating systems, gadgets and accessories they have with it...totally a guy thing! When they lend it to me to see, I have a hard time understanding how to make a phone call with it...

-the cold autumn wind lifts up my skirt and my buttocks feels the breeze...

-I spot a nice pair of jeans on a nice pair of legs and I just want to see the front of that person walking in front of me..yiikes, there's a girl walking next to him...totally jealous!

-I get into the cosmetics aisles in a pharmacy or department store. Come to think of it, we women always think we can look or be better with tons of creams and medicines on...based on how the product container looks like.

-I am getting a head massage.

-I get people around me to do what I wanted them to do and I don't feel guilty about it because I was nice.

Autumn in London

That was Trafalgar Square at the end of the Beijing olympics...August went. September has rushed in with a torrent of rain and wind. The only bright fact is I have my ticket for an island much closer to the equator...let November come.

Before that, a lot to worry about:
-Japanese interview to enroll into classes
-Products exam for work
-Saving money for that November holiday (the Japan trip fund is also accepting donations!)
-Sending those outstanding posts...ahem...
-Stop biting nails..
-Loose 20 pounds (top of mission impossible list)
-Keep my friends...

The list is tiring me. I should just go back to sleep.