Thoughts of a tired mind

Discipline has never been my forte. I need that peer pressure to keep striving for my own goals:going to the gym at work, repeating out loud that I need to spend more time learning Japanese, repeating out loud that I have a test coming up next week...unfortunately I also tend to say out loud that I am hungry, tired and pissed off....

There are too many things that prevent me for keeping my discipline: minimal social life (though I ate out twice this week), various series online to watch (hmm to practice my Japanese reading and listening)...

Most importantly after that weekend in Savoie, I realize I tend to enjoy the company of various people, most often very different people with completely diverse interests and personalities. I haven't yet met that one person that has all those interesting characteristics, and I know I will never meet one. It's a tough realization that is starting to sink in that maybe I will have to settle for less than everything:)

It is also a given fact that at this point I am in no way inclined to sacrifice what I want to do for anyone else's sake..except maybe family members...

When deciding on where my career is going, it is even more vague than usual. There are a lot of things I do not want to do, and even more things I would like to try. There is just not enough time in this life to have it all, hence this other frustration griping my forehead.

Being greedy sure is painful! Is it easier to make decisions for someone you love? I imagine it is because you already have an idea of what is good or would make that someone happy...in my case, I dont know what will make me happy...