December blues

Yesterday morning I saw the dawn of the much anticipated end of the week. It was such an intense week as it is very busy at work. My mornings are cold out there, and this particular one was very windy. So windy in fact a mini tornado downed 2 lamp posts inches away in front of me as I walked to the station. It actually woke my sleepwalking head, and made me quite nervous. So I speedwalked the rest of the street, watching out for other lamp posts to fall noisily on the street...pheww..that was too close.

For a minute I was cheering myself up, with the 'I am alive' motto, but I still didn't manage to feel any urgency to skip and jump with my arms in the air.
Was it because I still had to go to work? (oh shoot, it's only my first week!), or was it because I was just tired? In any case, I mainly thought about my family. I have always prouded myself in being ready and not being too afraid of death, but am I being honest? I wasn't ready then. For a start, I didn't have breakfast, because I wanted to arrive early at work to clean up my act and plan my strategy for the day. And then I realize it is most difficult to be ready to say goodbye to your loved ones.

I still wished I heard the cool enthusiastic backround music and the rush of ' I'm gonna do all the crazy things on my list' kind of feelings. The adrenaline picked up at work, and I ended the day without a single minute for myself (just once to pee). I grabbed a Coke can for the bus.

Almost just another ordinary day. I still hadn't seen an Ed Norton movie where he ends up on top...why? why?why?

I think I still want to change the world, so I am not too depressed yet...It's just that people get on my nerves and in my way too often...not to mention lamp posts...grrrrr