Addiction

According to Wikipedia, 'Addiction is a chronic disorder proposed to be precipitated by a combination of genetic, biological/pharmacological and social factors. Addiction is characterized by the repeated use of substances or behaviors despite clear evidence of morbidity secondary to such use.'



Having ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, I find I cannot find many things I can get addicted to. I am not sure I am addicted to the Internet for example. If I don't have it, and am somewhere beautiful and keeping busy, then I can forget about it, or at least stay away from my emails without going nuts...same thing for TV, or video games, even Cubis or Tetris. I get bored quite easily with everything so far. When first encountered, a situation or an activity or something is exciting because it is unusual. When I get used to it or if I think I to understand why or how it works, and if it does not change, then I am quite bored with it soon enough.

For instance I was so happy to be a volleyball referee (though it could be just a power trip), but then once the games got so uninteresting, it became boring. It was fun to play but after a while, with only 3 or 4 combinations of settings to work with, it also became routine. I can see the pattern already:
- discovery : the wow moment
- let live : enjoying it as it happens
- learning : figuring out the bits and parts
- assimilation : I dont even realize it's there anymore
- modification : trying to change it

If that last step fails, then it becomes routine. Most of my close friends being away from me, we are quite stuck in the discovery phase, or at most the learning phase. They usually have different specialties as well, so that I can listen for them for hours...Places I've lived in were places where I never got involved enough to learn the bits and parts of the way people lived or organized themselves to go about their daily worries and concerns. I was always in a transit mode. I suppose I still am, moving every 6 months and all that. I have never been interested in voting about anything, so detached I was from the issues to be dealt with.

My only true known addiction is biting my nails. Unlike TV or Internet, I cannot ignore them or forget about them. It has become as basic as breathing to bring my fingers to my mouth. Some therapist might have some complicated interpretations of it, say oral phases, etc...I can only resist for a few weeks at a time, with the help of gloves or a knitting kit. I can only knit scarves though so it becomes boring very quickly! Despite all the bitter nails polishes or even chilis smeared all over them, my nails still have that awesome taste! The chilis didn't work at all...it actually made them more delicious...LOL...I take my evil from them...