Sunshine in the City

Unbelievable. I got to enjoy sunbathing in the garden while writing this, with my iced chai on the side and chicken salad on the other. Unfortunately my free wifi network is not reachable from this end of the house. My suspiscion is confirmed, the
network I usually use is an office network that is only switched on during weekdays during office hours. And it is on the east side of the house. Ah well, at least I am roasting in a peaceful garden.



I'm trying to decide whether to write that love letter or not. It was meant to be addressed to a particular person but then i realize I might write all the unexpressed feelings I have ever had for so many people before as well. I am not expecting any reciprocated feelings, although that would be great. Sometimes it's as if I was in love with Love more than anything else. Or the fact that I am relatively new in this environment makes me vulnerable to wanting a companion so bad I just fall for the first nice guy that comes along, without knowing better.

And I'm taken into the same painful cycle of being thunderstruck, unable to speak or get my act together in his presence, which doesn't really help in putting myself forward. And all I can do is replay each encounter word by word, second by second, sometimes delighting in what he could have meant, or being dissapointed by what I
understood or did...why is life so difficult????ARGHHHH