I received the JLPT score and was very surprised, not because I didn't pass, but because my score in the different sections were not what I expected.
The score for language knowledge is tough even if I was expecting something like that. The passing score is 50/60 for that section, so I have a lot of work to do. There is a table indicating the pass score to be 19/60 but still, given the overall pass score at 95/180, I needed at least a 31/60 in that section to pass. The score is language knowledge is detailed in the score for Vocabulary and Grammar, since the only kanji I remember knowing was the character for tears...sniff. I need to have at least a B and score 50% or higher for vocabulary and grammar.
I was expecting a higher score for listening since I thought I understood things about 80%. So now I can correct myself and tell everyone I only understand 56.666667% of things I hear as it seems I misunderstand what I hear. The biggest surprise is the reading score. I know it is a scaled score but it feels strange to have a score of 30/60 when I answered at random, giving up at understanding the questions or the answers. I did try to read the texts to gather what they were about, but that was pretty much what I understood. I cannot even remember the theme anymore since I'm mixing them up with the mock tests I have done.
So in short, I passed Reading and Listening (passing score is 19/60) but I have lots of vocabulary and grammar to catch up...sigh
And now the big debate: shall I register for the July exam or not? And at what level?
Because I tend to drink quite a lot of water or tea at work, and my bladder only holds half a cup of liquid maximum, I usually go to the toilet every 30-60min. I experience all level of cleanliness on the 1st floor, from pristine to right outrageous. And this is a corporate environment. I always wonder how some women leave such disgusting traces: do they stand on the toilet to hit the wall? Do they sit facing the flush? I really cannot understand why there are shoe marks on the toilet.
Then there is the meet and greet. I prefer to ignore everyone when going to do my business. Why do you say hello and smile? Do you expect me to have a friendly conversation? Even if I walk along to the place with a friend, as soon as we push that door with the ladies sign, you are not anybody, so let me focus on finding a lean place to put my bottom!
The first order of business after passing that door is choosing a booth. For my part, the booth to use is never chosen randomly. The criteria are smell and cleanliness. There are 3 booths to choose from. The sink area as well as the booths have their own timer-sensored lights. If I am lucky, there is a booth that has no light on that is available. That means noone has been in there for while. In term of odor, it would be the safest. If it is clean enough, then it will be used. If one booth is being used, the farthest booth is the firs choice, unless it is disgusting. If the middle booth is busy, again select by odor and cleanliness...I am pretty sure those criteria are pretty the same for everyone.
Seriously though, there are people that lock themselves up in the toilet to speak on the phone, when there are plenty of fresh air outside, while admiring the Mont Blanc..
I had a 9:00 morning appointment to the spa today for my first time at the Iyashi dome treatment. Beforehand, i probably drank 3L of water, between yesterday evening and this morning. So even after leaving the house my bladder was trying to empty itself mid-street in the cold crispy morning.
The was opened at ( as well so I lingered for about 2min outside before someone came to open shop. Then it turned out someone messed up the appointment schedule and overbooked the dome. So instead I was offered a treatment.
But first, i had to undress and put on this totally tiny paper thong. The most traumatizing could be when she measured my waistline, since I told her this is my problem area these days, and I hate to do crunches. All that precious information was immortalized on a piece of paper that I dated not to read.
The treatment was called cavitation, and uses an ultrasound machine to break down fat. The sound is quite high pitch as it resonates a lot, but after a while I got used to it. The area treated warms up a bit, and the therapist massaged me as well to help drain the fat. I need to exercise and drink 2L/day for 10 days to eliminate.
Next Saturday, I will try the iyashi dome for 6 more treatment. I feel like I have fallen into the plastic surgery world....
This beautiful smooth face of mine always adorn a pimple. It is not always at the same place, as it seems to move from my chin, right next to my only beard hair, to the entrance of my nose.
Every month, it moves to a different place, and it takes a lot of BB cream to erase the stamp of a nasty pimple.
In periods of high (or maybe low) level of hormones, when the times comes and everything seem so bothersome, and my sensitivity is maximum, I can't help but think about sad things. It's not love, it's not care, it's what you would call nostalgia. It's the remembrance of things or lives that have passed and that could not be lived again.
As my chest tighten and the knot is tied in my throat, I listen to these songs to let it go. Because the memory of you, and the things I still want to do with you can only be materialized in my tears.
"Memories live on" by 4Men
"...Memories live on
To tear to pieces all facets for the memories alive
Faded memories of living on memories of the trail
As the Hourglass shattered memories alive
Forgot your gonna be alive tomorrow, so that
Tomorrow is gonna be alive for the memories forgotten "
"Distance" by Ft Island
Now, over the crossing
Someone who was always besides me stands
First snow of the season falls on her back who is walking not knowing anything.
My heart hurts as I run.
Because it was as if I left you behind.
Do I still exist in you?
As a selfish person.
Because I wanna see you.
Just wanna see you.
I was holding your image in myself.
Changes into memory
Not to fade it away
"I love sad songs too."
Why wasn't I able to realize?
Over the crowd, I see your back
I was reaching out my hand unconsciously
Even if it's too late
Gotta tell you "I'm sorry"
Otherwise I can't move on
So I ran after you.
Just ran after you
As if I cut through the crowd
I called your name
called many times
Did it reach?
But straight
Just straight
You keep walking forward
Never looking back
As if you leave everything behind
As if it's for me
I cannot still find the answer
What's right and what's wrong Please reflect me into your eyes once more time.
Let me ask you.
So I wanna see you.
Just wanna see you.
I was holding your image in myself
It wasn't a dream
It was a reality
But I let your hand go
Snow keeps falling.
My feeling gets stronger
Express train passes
By the time this crossing opens
you will probably not be there
I have cleaned the house, sorted out the files, pictures and paperworks, scrubbed clean my body of dead cells, ate somehow healthy for the last 2 days to detox, and finally concluded another year of my existence.
I am thankful for all the love and support I have received so far. No matter what, I am what i am thanks to you.
No matter what, I’ll forever stay by your side
You’re watching the same world as I am
If there’s despair behind your sweet smile
Give it to me. I’ll be fine
There’s a part of me here that no one knows
Being able to have met you was my ending
Breathing calmly, I lay my body on your chest
As long as I live I touch you again and again
And learn of your warm taste, forever
No matter what, I’ll forever stay by your side
Let’s also go to the other side of this clearly visible world
The things we can’t say and the small cold lies disappear
As I trip over your heel and we laugh together
I only need one unchanging thing
Even if the wind blows on us and invites us to different roads
Like the day we defied time and separated
I hear only your voice
No matter what future lies in waiting
Being able to have met you was my ending
Breathing calmly, I lay my body on your chest
As long as I live I touch you again and again
And learn of your warm taste, forever
Do I have a sense of achievement after this year has passed? Did I make new friends? Did I learn anything? Did I leave anything?
I may be able to answer "yes" to one of those questions. And I can list a few things I definitely did and that still surprises me:
-I sat for the JLPT level N3 exam in December and not too impatient to get the result in March 2012
-I discovered Kpop that has been gradually sweeping this part of the world. Some popular groups that I enjoy are Big Bang, Ft Island, Standing Egg, and of course Super Junior
-Because of Kpop, I think I watched so many variety shows that I became addicted to, mainly because I love the concept of the show and I really want to see those in other countries. My favourite one used to be "1 night 2 days" where a group of host visit some remote area of South Korea to explore the culture in that area (food, dance, markets, etc..) and there are silly games between the hosts to determine who sleep outside. The other one is "running man" which is also a game of missions to be achieved by the hosts, at a landmark, and which usually involves ripping off a velcroed nametag off each other. No single episode is similar. Here is an example of a running man episode where they have superpowers.
-I managed to visit some Swiss landmarks with my parents which left many many sweet memories
-I got new books to study Japanese in preparation for the next test
-I managed to survive the stress at work, that almost made me sick and got me so cranky I was ready to leave all and never return to that office.
-I got my first flight in a light plane with my little brother after seeing my sister graduate with a phD
-I learned some bit of Japanese history of the rise of the Tokugawa shogunate through watching the NHK Taiga Drama Gou Himetachi no sengoku, which is following the life of a lady who through mariages, losses and wars became the mother of the shogun and grandmother of the emperor, a really nice example of the saying "behind a great man is a great woman".
-I also got my laughs from the series The big bang theory, because it appeals to the nerdy side of mine.
The year has passed quickly, so quickly in fact that I could not finish everything on my to-do list. That leaves me with the usual suspects for the next year:
-loose weight
-try to run a half marathon
-succeed in the JLPT
-get a new job
With his Ichigo Kurosaki haircut, he introduced me to streaming anime, which encouraged me into my practicing my Japanese listening. There were jokes about "Fruits baskets", "Death Note", and many other surreal when we conversed. I was able to be a kid again and happily discuss about animation and their stories.
I always saw him smiling. I hope he was surrendered by his close friends and loved ones in his final moments and was able to unload his hurt, pains and troubles before going away.
I wish his young soul now rests in peace in a better place.
Thank you for Mr Sheepy. You will live on in our memories.
Well, I haven't been moved by gut gripping music lately, so this evening was a wonderful surprise: The Youth Orchestra of Bahia made my day, my week and my month.
This is certainly not a title I thought I would write so soon (or so late). But around me, people live their complicated life and I get to see the spilling of renewed happiness, bitter betrayal, sheer helplessness of others. Couple A split up after at least 7 years together. Another couple B split up after miss X met up with her first love at a class reunion, thus having to juggle the new boyfriend, a new job and her two kids, wile mr Y is coming to grasp with the concept of single Dad. Meanwhile, couple C is happily ( I think) nursing their newly daughter. All of them I consider good friends.
I know I shouldn't worry too much about their lives, given that somehow it makes me feel I have no life of my own worrying about them. But I realized they all have a right to their own happiness too and probably struggling to regain that happy moment in time when everything seemed to go according to the plan.
Watching how hard it is to fight for yourself yet care for the kids, I now can understand the sacrifices every parent make for their child. I also learned how painful it is not to point the finger and put the blame on someone, to hold your ground against the general opinion. I have lost a black and white world and I am not happy about it at all because it is not clear where my trust can be given.
At this point though, I probably and finally can appreciate my parents' work and decisions. And no matter how hard I try, I feel my love for them will not be enough to express that appreciation.
The wind was much stronger today, so we couldn't film at all on the boat, as we were busy navigating and grabbing on to something when we ride those waves against current. I was in front and got a lot of water on me. Fortunately I was covered with my VT sweatshirt, but not waterproof at all.
On the way back, as we didn't feel the wind in our face anymore, I felt the water suck me into its waves. But it was fun surfing the waves to the harbour.
