The difficulties of being parents...

This is certainly not a title I thought I would write so soon (or so late). But around me, people live their complicated life and I get to see the spilling of renewed happiness, bitter betrayal, sheer helplessness of others. Couple A split up after at least 7 years together. Another couple B split up after miss X met up with her first love at a class reunion, thus having to juggle the new boyfriend, a new job and her two kids, wile mr Y is coming to grasp with the concept of single Dad. Meanwhile, couple C is happily ( I think) nursing their newly daughter. All of them I consider good friends.

I know I shouldn't worry too much about their lives, given that somehow it makes me feel I have no life of my own worrying about them. But I realized they all have a right to their own happiness too and probably struggling to regain that happy moment in time when everything seemed to go according to the plan.

Watching how hard it is to fight for yourself yet care for the kids,  I now can understand the sacrifices every parent make for their child. I also learned how painful it is not to point the finger and put the blame on someone, to hold your ground against the general opinion. I have lost a black and white world and I am not happy about it at all because it is not clear where my trust can be given.

At this point though, I probably and finally can appreciate my parents' work and decisions. And no matter how hard I try, I feel my love for them will not be enough to express that appreciation.

Swimming at the mermaids

Strong wind (20km/h), with gust of wind at 35km/h

 

The wind was much stronger today, so we couldn't film at all on the boat, as we were busy navigating and grabbing on to something when we ride those waves against current. I was in front and got a lot of water on me. Fortunately I was covered with my VT sweatshirt, but not waterproof at all.

On the way back, as we didn't feel the wind in our face anymore, I felt the water suck me into its waves. But it was fun surfing the waves to the harbour.

Ahoy Captain!

I just had my first sailing lesson yesterday, and although there was much anxiety on my part before meting the group of 4, it turned out very well. What else did I expect when the weather conditions were so pleasant, with a bit of clouds just giving enough shade from the beautiful blue sky? I left all my belongings at the gym lockers nearby before meeting with the others.

We met at 6pm by baby plage, where noone was swimming, and proceeded on the pier to board on the Chocoboom, a 17m sailing boat. That's when I realized how small a boat is, and how important it is to know which chords are stable to hang on when walking on the boat.

For about 20-30min, the instructor explained what was important on the boat (coque, quille, safran, mat, grande voile, genois) and what 4 chords were doing. We were given life-jackets, and the plan for the day. Then we hooked up the big sail, and the one in front (genois),  pulled them high and exited the harbour with the little motor at the back of the boat.

I fondly remember the words of my high school friend back in boarding school. She had taught me many words that were materializing in front of me, and experienced the wonder she merely tried to describe to me. As the boat zoomed by the small white lighthouse of Bain des Paquis,  the motor was turned off and we set the sails for the first time, learning to catch the wind. Because the boat cannot advance when getting front wind, we have to take it always at least at 45degrees, and zigzag on the lake to any destination (virement de bord).

After a few tacks, which I did a few times with another Turkish colleague, we switched position and I handled the rudder (safran). It wasn't as easy as I thought as direction was reversed (pull right to turn left), and needed to constantly adjust. Then we turned the boat around and had the wind from the back.

When swinging the sail from left to right to catch the wind and zigzag, the equivalent of tack is empannage. By the time we turned around, the wind quieted a bit an we no longer leaned so hard when speeding on water. It was at slow duck speed that we cruised back to the harbour, and it would have been a perfect situation to have drinks and suntan when the boat gently floated its way to the lighthouse again. We didn't have a camra but one colleague from London had his phone with him so we snapped a couple of pictures.

I was still at the "driving" position, giving the signal for empannage and happily and entering the parking area.  Going back on land was not too difficult and I sensed why Anne was so fond of sailing. The floating feeling was lingering as I walked to the gym to get back my things. I was envisioning a summer filled with sailing.

And last night, I had the same feeling as the night in Amsterdam when I ate those magic brownies: I was floating in my bed, and felt like I was on a waterbed. NO wonder sailors get sick on the ground, and wy they cannot walk straight..:P

Standing egg

I discovered this simple group, and trying to play their songs but the guitar part cannot be found ...
http://www.allkpop.com/2010/12/unhyped-talent-standing-egg

Zab in Geneva

Apple store

Random street view in NYC

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..stupor!!!

I was idly looking for split ends when trying to stay awake during a meeting when I encountered a shiny strand of hair...it wasn't reddish or thin, it was a spotlessly white/gray and as long as my other hair. What is this feeling? It is shock and also terror mixed with disbelief. This strand f hair has been growing like any other hair, and I only notice it now.

From that time on, all I notice is that strand of hair and I frantically look for it everywhere on my head now, to see if there are more. It feels I changed from a mere teenager to an old woman. I want to protest against the hair and say I am still young and pretty as a 10 year old, but at the same time I am resigned to accept that at my age I no longer can wear mini tank tops (because the belly flab will show) and have some responsibilities (to work to get money to eat)

Life is hard, and today life also gave me gray hair. sniff

sniff, arghh, scratch, atchoum...pouet!

It's that time of the year, when suddenly a ray of sun catches my pupils and make me sneeze. Like a long learned automatism, my eyes tear up, my nose itches and the inside of my throat starts to tingle. Every single breath of air becomes stuffy with flying bugs, pollens, dust, birds feathers, unidentified particules and and flowery fragrance.

After blowing my nose, scratching my throat with my tongue and picking my ears, it is too late to realize it was done in public. The weather is warming up so that is why it it best to stay on the move by walking, and avoid the public transports where loudly blowing your nose is only attracting attention to you condition.

A superb idea dawned on me today when I entered a pharmacy and asked for eye drops. She offered some and also some allergy medicine (which I already have). I bought them all to stock up for the season and hopefully I will have a scratch-free evening tonight.

pouet!! I somewhow manage to add my own fragrance to the world...

My tulips for you

Some news about shale gas

Here is a bit of an interesting article about shale gas.  It will be probably more and more in the news from now on and it is interesting to learn about the nature and impact of that new energy source.

April's fool

Insomnia victim...

My first ...being last

So i finished the 8.2km race in 1hour 2min, a full 5min faster than what my usual pace during training is. To be fair i was last from the beginning and after crossing path with everyone else encouraging me, i had the full honor of having the green fluorescent motor biker closing path behind me. During the huge slopes upward he would stop 300m ahead of me and wait. After a few encouraging words he would again advance further, and it continued like that until e let me run the last 200m on my own.
At arrival, the commentator was yelling my name to encourage me and incited all other spectators to applaud my achievement, saying that maybe it was my first race (bless!).

I gave my best smile and my best attempt to a sprint on the last 10m and then headed for the prize stand...yes of course I did all this for the prize..which turned out to be a bottle of red wine, produced by the winery where the race started and ended.

I am pretty happy i didn't injure myself on the huge slopes and didn't cramp. I ran out of breath too often to run consistently but i focused on the downward slopes not to roll carelessly. There were scary slopes with beautiful sights of the lake Geneva and the still snowy tops of the Jura.
This means I can increase my training pace to 8.0 - 8.5km/h in the next week and also do the hour run twice a week. GO ME!!

My first good song

I finally managed to learn a whole song, chords and lyrics in one afternoon. It is a sort song but I have no more feelings at my left fingertips. It feels lik cold needles are pricking at them as soon as they touch any surface. Maybe I should actually numb them once and for all in ice so that  I can continue practicing.

Before I have the confidence to post my cover of the song, here is the original.

Getting off work

'dear Father'

On friday morning, the live feed on tv showing a massive wave of destroyed habitat trampling over fields, people and everything it encountered put me in a strange state. My first reaction was to check by any mean the welfare of anyone I know in the area affected. The second reaction, most surprising, was to fly there myself and help...
Some people in Madagascar probably live in poorer conditions but somehow I felt more sympathy for a faraway land. Maybe it is because I only had good and precious memories there.
I have thought hard about the second impulse and deduced it could be different things:
-the fact that I long to feel needed again and that my current job does not provide me that satisfaction anymore. In short it is pure selfishness.
-I always want to go to Japan
-maybe I am having my midlife crisis where I feel I would risk my life and do things impulsively
A disturbing nightmare visited me that night where a savage human preyed on another one, eating at his convulsed and foaming face while I watch horrified and unable to do anything but silently scream.
That sight still haunts me during my waking hiurs and I am not sure what inspired that vision.
Over the weeken, I found myself praying for the survivors, that they find courage and strength to go through the difficult life ahead of them: no food, no water, no shelter, no job, etc...and I was unable to pray for my friend when she had her surgery...
They would call it irrational.
In any case I feel I miss the comforting presence of my dear papa in this situation as he experienced disasters like this more often than he wished for.

Little corner

Every time I visit the little corner, I have the oddest strongest emotion and promise myself to share it somehow. Maybe it is a sign that I have become a robot at work and the only time I manage to feel anything is in the privacy of a 2 suqare meter.

First there is a whole algorithm in to choosing which stall to use: the place has movement sensing lights and after a few minutes the light goes off in each stall. So when coming in, once can choose among 3 cubicles. I usually choose the one farthest away from the one occupied, or the one with the light off. I probably put too much thought into it...kekeke


One time I was tempted to steal a paper roll as it was very thick paper with cute little flower design. it was a bit strange to be attracted to a shiny white roll like that.

Another time  was so disgusted at the traces of mud all over the place on the bowl I angrily yelled how the hell people do their business sometimes.

Finally there is the bathroom chitchat. I never quite understand why people decide to engage in useless conversation in such a place, when clearly all I want to do is clear my mind and relax a bit. So when someone is trying to chat and I am really not in the mood, I dry my hands with that airplane sounding dyson hand dryer...deafening the whole floor in the same process and knocking myself down unconscious for a few seconds...

Let me feel pain...good pain...

it was a good relaxing day to try something new, since I got old and all. So I went for a thai massage at this place and got some interesting experience.

First of all it was my time of the month, and I was a bit nervous it would be unpleasant for the masseur. But I had more stressful things to worry about once the massage started. My belly started acting up, and lying on my belly, and him pulling and pushing me flat on the ground like a crepe, I was worried I would just fart out loud...

Somehow though, just as I was about to explode, he pushed here and there on my body and the gaz stayed inside me. not sure if that is good or bad, but I would say at that moment it was good for both of us.

Then lying on my back, my stomach was making all sorts of growling noises that made me laugh out loud of nervousness and embarrassment. It was past 16:30 and I still had one hour to go. It was really nice though, as every part of my body he touched was painful, and his massage really untied some of the knots I have been carrying for years.

I just wish my stomach would stop talking and scare the hell out of me. next time I will try the swedish massage. I bet that is even more painful...

Getting olderrrrr

I made my firsta ttempt to Yosenabe to celebrate my last day of 3xyears old with friends. We managed to eat only half of it but most of the seafood were eaten. I made dashi for the first time from scratch and I really loved the taste. 

In the nabe we cooked the carrots, shiitake mushrooms, daikon slices (lotus roots), small clams, mussels and we finished with shrimps.

While waiting for the broth to boil, we had pumpkin in soy sauce, tofu with sesame seeds and green onions, and raw tuna salad.

I have lots of leftovers, especially all the meat that we did not cook...

The 6 of them suprsed me with presents and a birthday cake for dessert...so sweet.

 

One of my guests made a birthday cake for me...More of her creations are at http://www.jucutecakes.com/